As a first-generation Latina, my Spanish is something I contemplate often. Growing up, it was my first language. I remember starting kindergarten and being frustrated when fellow students or staff couldn’t understand me when I tried to explain myself in Spanish before I learned English. It was deeply ingrained in me, I never thought twice of my fluency or if I sounded “Latina” or “Mexican” enough. As I’ve become bilingual over the years, I’ve felt this tug-o-war between my fluency in English and Spanish. At times I felt as though the more I spoke Spanish the more I lost myself in English and vice versa. Up until college, my time was evenly split speaking only English at school and only Spanish when I got home. Now that I am in my second year living on my own post-college and as the holidays approach, I’ve felt how my relationship with my Spanish has changed …